Today I turn 43. This year it seems like just another number…in all ways but one. I still want to be a mom. I’m trying to tell myself that I still have plenty of time. I feel young. I act young (too much at times?). I see myself as young even as the numbers increase. And, what is a number? Aren’t we really what we believe we are?
So, I will breathe, relax, and go forward. From this point on, every day I will make a small step toward parenthood, even if it’s just making small mental shifts.
And I will stay young.
In the last few days, I wrote Heckewelder Life for our new project Storymill. It's got some good stuff on how Paula and I met and fell in love.
I've been sick for about a week, and Paula's dealing with the return of school after 15 months of sabbatical. It's good to delve into our rich and romantic past once in a while to remind us of the gift we've got, lest we let our day to day concerns steal the show.
Well, after a few weeks of phone calls, website building, and story writing, Storymill is live, such as it is. I've printed thousands of cards to promote it, and they're being distributed. Now I find myself in the very awkward phase of having sent out the invitations, but still waiting and hoping for people to show up. Nearly everyone I've spoken with like the idea. But will they write?
With Musikfest is in full swing and Paula in Minnisota for a week, Chloe and I are doing the only sane thing in this hundred degree heat: lying on the couch. She's got her arms stretched in front of her on my legs while I type on Paula's new laptop.
Whenever Paula goes away, I'm reminded how few friends I have of my own. Yes, I know tons of people, and many of them seem to like me, but when it comes time to do fun things with someone, my choices are mostly people I know through Paula.
Or cats. Chloe and I are just fine hidden away from the heat. Now back to our movie.